walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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