the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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