OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
