singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
