No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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