I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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