dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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