i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
