my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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