i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Semen is not good for contacts.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize