Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
i believe in u and ur pee
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
