Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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