...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
