You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
