Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My vagina is officially offended.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
