it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
