I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
