her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
