Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
