yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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