Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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