Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Even my vagina gasped.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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