i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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