we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
