chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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