he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
