Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
