I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
