She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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