i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
