we have officially mastered the walk of shame
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
