My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
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