I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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