I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
