The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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