If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
