Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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