I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
