I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
