Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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