Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
We talked him into tasing himself.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
