Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
