I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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