Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
