It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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