I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Randomize
