If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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