woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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