what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
