he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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