dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
