dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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