dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize