so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
