i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
