I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
did you just send me my own nude
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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