He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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