It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
That accounts for only three of the penises
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize