I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
