There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
