how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
