So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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