My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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