But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
