In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
