Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
too bad you live with your parents still
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
