i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize