yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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