it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
