I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
She announced her abortion via fbk
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
