dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
