Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
