TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
nutella sex= disaster
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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