just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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