508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
